Coping with the death of a much loved pet - how to remember our beloved furry friends

Daisy, our delicious golden cocker spaniel, was the first pet I truly adored - and the first one I lost. When I was five (or maybe six) a truly traumatic thing happened. Daisy escaped from our garden and went wandering. I happened to see her as I walked out the gate on my way to school and so naturally, called out to her and, naturally, she came loping over the road to greet me. Only she didn’t make it because she was hit by a mint green Morris Minor full of local school boys. And yes, all that detail was indelibly printed on my very young brain along with a decades-long sense of shame and guilt that I hid from my family until I was 30 years old when I finally admitted my part in that terrible tragedy. 

At the time, Daisy was buried in our back garden, alongside all our cherished black and white, slightly neurotic cats. But I must’ve blocked that out because all I remember is crying for days and not being able to go to school for the grief.

Looking back, I wonder if I had had something to hang onto - something tangible and concrete to remind me of Daisy - that I might have managed that grief a little more easily. Because, as a child, the death of a beloved pet is probably the closest thing most children ever get to real grief and it can be so overwhelming. 

What's more, many adults find the death of a pet equally traumatic. And yet, it’s often downplayed or ignored because it’s “just an animal”. For many of us, our dogs, cats, rabbits and even rats, are as integral to the family as any of our human members and equally as loved. 

So when a pet dies, and that very real grief is experienced, I think we need to do more to acknowledge that and to support people to deal with it gently and with compassion. When we were conceiving of Vaso, it seemed totally natural that we should include a range of urns for pets as well as humans so people could have something solid to cling to and to focus their grief and sadness on - just like we do for our human loved ones who’ve passed away.

I know that having my mother in a beautiful urn nearby is a source of constant comfort and I often find myself walking past and reaching out to touch it as I think of her. I also know that when our adored Spanador, Otto, eventually dies we’ll all be devastated and we’ll want to keep him close too - in something beautiful. 

At Vaso we created a special collection of pet urns for people to honour their furry friends with beauty and grace. We want people to remember their beloved pets openly without embarrassment, guilt or shame. And we want everyone to show a little compassion for those who experience the death of a pet.

Check out our collection of pet urns

While you’re considering which urn your gorgeous companion would like to rest in, here are some common questions we get asked about pet cremation and what to do with pet ashes to help assuage your fears and bring peace of mind.

What Happens After Pet Cremation in New Zealand?

If you've chosen cremation for your pet — or are considering it — here's what the process typically looks like.

After your pet passes, either at home or at the vet, you can arrange for them to be collected and cremated by a pet cremation service. In New Zealand, pet cremation services operate in most major cities and regions. Individual cremation (where only your pet is cremated, ensuring you receive only their ashes) is the gold standard if having your pet's ashes returned is important to you — and worth asking for specifically when you book.

Ashes are typically returned to you within one to two weeks, in a basic container provided by the cremation service. As with human ashes, this is simply a practical handover — a temporary container, not a final resting place.

From there, the choices about what to do with your pet's ashes are largely the same as those for human ashes: keep them at home in a beautiful urn, scatter them in a place they loved, bury them in a garden, or share them.

Can You Keep Pet Ashes at Home?

Yes, absolutely — and many people do. Keeping your pet's ashes at home in a beautiful urn is one of the most comforting choices available. It means they're with you, in the places they knew and loved, in the daily life they were so happily part of.

An urn on a shelf alongside your favourite photo of them, in the spot where they used to sleep, or in the room where they spent most of their time — these are all deeply personal, entirely valid, and genuinely comforting choices.

The key is finding something that feels worthy of them. A beautiful, handcrafted urn makes the difference between an object you feel proud to have in your home and one you tuck out of sight because it doesn't quite feel right.

Can You Scatter Pet Ashes?

Yes. A beach they loved, a park they tore around in, a garden they presided over — all of these are meaningful options. The same general guidelines apply as for human ashes though: permission is needed for private land, and some public areas have local council rules, so it's worth checking if you have a specific site in mind.

Many people choose to scatter some ashes and keep some at home — a small sharing urn on the shelf, and a larger ceremony at a place that mattered is a nice way to manage that.

Can You Bury Pet Ashes in a Garden?

Yes, and it can be a beautiful choice — especially if your pet had a favourite spot in the garden, or if you want to plant a tree or flowering shrub over them. Bear in mind that pet ashes, like human ashes, have a naturally high pH, so it’s best to mix well with the soil or adding a little compost before planting something on top.

What Size Urn Do You Need for a Pet?

My honest answer to this is - it doesn’t matter. I truly believe you should pick an urn that you love or one you think will look best in your home. After all, you want something that will remind you of your loving companion and make you smile every time you look at it. So, if you had a miniature poodle but love an urn big enough to house a great dane, just choose that - it will bring you so much joy (and no one will ever know it’s not full)!

But if you’re more practical than me and size matters, then here’s a rough guide: pet ashes weigh approximately 3–5% of your pet's body weight before cremation — so a 10kg dog will produce roughly 300–500g of ash. Most urn sellers will show capacities in their specs so you’ll be able to see which is most appropriate. 

Vaso's pet urns come in three sizes designed to suit different pets:

• Size I (large) — suited to large and giant breed dogs
• Size II (medium) — suited to medium-sized dogs and larger cats
• Size III (small) — suited to cats, small dogs, and other small animals
• Memento (sharing)- suited to smaller animals or portions of ashes you’d like to share with members of the family.

If you're at all unsure, feel free to email us at hello@vaso.world and we'll help you work it out.

With love and kindness, 

Bridgit

Founder, Vaso